today leh.. i went to mandai there to "shao mu".. clean up ah gong 'mu'.. b4 that father, gu gu and me we go buy those joss stick lah, "hell money" lah and blar blar blar.. then after which we set off the the place liao.. there not too much ppl compare to last time i went there. we sreach for a while b4 we found ah gong.. my father clean the place and pour coffee and put a 'bao' for ah gong to eat. i standing there and start thinking.. if we burn all those thing will ah gong really get those money?? i think maybe bah.. then i starts to imgine that ah gong is there looking at us and miss us a lot. we take turn to talk to ah gong. i waited patienly for my turn.. while i was talking to ah gong half way i relise i was speaking chinese and english with ah gong.. he must be angry i think then i quickly tok in hokkien. i never say a lot much just tell him not to miss me and ask him to take good care of himself and look over me.. i felt crying but i dont want to do it in front of my father... i am thinking that if ah gong really watching over me and see i had been doing all this wrong thing then he must be very sad with me.. cos he doted on me the most... i really miss him..
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sorry, that i had went offline for so long.. i was into antoher sweet relationship with a girl that a abandon web blogging for such a long time.. guess why i am back online?? yoz rite, i was rejected again.. leaving me nothing to do i decided to write my diary again.
valantine day, i spent it with this gal name Elaine.. intially i thought she was such a good gal that i can consider commiting my feeling towards her. (which i really did). after that time at zoo i had been calling her and asking a lot of date with her..
one day b4 valantine day
i dated her to a movie (along came polly). after which i give her the present, it was a chain with stars, and one stalk of red rose.
on valentine day
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recently, i have been catching up with my secondary school friends. it was because most of my good friends in army was having a life of their own and seems to forget about me liao. i have been hanging out with Jian Ming all this while.. He changed a lot liao, especially his connection with ppl. his connection was quite wide. after so long i have a lot of story to share but i decided to bring out one as it would be too long to write all down.
Elaine
i know this girl through Jian Ming recent GF, Lorjean. i had seen them b4 one time at Rush while i was with Jian Ming. dun know why jian ming and lorjean had became an item, since then jian ming had introduce elaine to me. elaine was a funny girl. she and lorjean is such a good friend that she will listen to wat ever she says. even sometime if lorjean ask her not to go out with this guy, even thought she like this guy she would stay a distance with him.. today jian ming, lorjean, elaine and me bring a 4 year old girl, carine to the zoo. it was a very fun outing. at first carine was shy towards me and jian ming. she would dare to tok to us. later she seems to like jian ming a lot and stay close to us and play. we took her to ride horse, play swing and see-saw. she was so cute and we had her taken down in jian ming video cam. it will not be long b4 i post this clip onto my web.. i will keep you all update.
toking about elaine, she doesn't have a good impression on me.. that had to bring the story back when i and her meet in Rush. nvm, let not bring out that story again. i was unsucessful of changing her impression on me.. we seem so far away when we went to zoo today.. jian ming how??? help me leh.. aiya i also dun know what to write liao lah.. sian.. update again next time cos i now buzy with my offline life lah...........jpg)
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after one and half years of driving in military vehicle, i finally clock 8000 km. that's sure not a easy thing to do. soon i am going to go down to MT line to have my class 3 converted. let's hope it doesn't get too long cos i am craving for the lisence now.. why? it is because my father wanna share with me to buy car. and when he say he will buy that's mean he really will. anyway it is his idea to buy the car.
even thought i had saved quite a sum of money cos i need not take my lisence at driving centre. but it was the experience i was grateful that driving gave me. i have been driving for one and a half years on-road and off-road, thought that is this 50km/h limitation but i proundly say that i am good at traffic suitation. i know wat to look out for and how to handler my vechicle. i am also happy to say till now, i have't meet with any accident and i am going to maintain this standard..jpg)
funny thing are i still haven't pass my class 2b lisence. i have been taking it since i was 18 but 2 plus years passed liao i still cannot make it.. hai~ i am now at lesson 4, i had passed my RTT so i think i will work hard and get it passed before april...
saturday morning, as usual hang over again. read from FHM that alcoholic drinks are fatty for body.. especially beer. followed by liquor and then wine. that's why i gave up drinking beer and pick up liquor.
went to RUSH yesterday night. we opened Bacardi at 180 nett. we asked for discount but then they say that it was a premier liquor. it contain a high alcoholic content of 40 percent. unlike terqilla or martell, bacardi cannot be drank without mixture. it can burn your liver.
as soon as we settled, two gal came looking for seats.. as the whole pub was occupied. i offered to share our table with them. (that was the same old trick i used to know gals) too bad they saw their friends there before they sit down so they thanked me and get to the table where their friends are. but at least i got their name. not long after 3 more gal came to sit down at a table beside us. they didn't know that the table was reserve for some other ppl so again i offer to share table with they saying that we could well look after each other drinks when we were at the dance floor. haha this time round we got them. soon we were like old friends chatting aorund. two were 18 waiting for O level while the other was 19 in singapore poly.
hai too bad that they don't seem interested in me but to zheng hao. they asked for his number instead of mine. not much of a catch, which ended up again, in G.. sad leh, wasted 400 that night. thats a lot leh. i still haven't know how to control my spending.
I don't think i still can afford to go chiong this month liao. maybe new year go again lah. must change my approach toward ger liao or i gonna scare them all away...
on the way on my father's car, he was crying. i was very sad but i could hold back my tears. it was my grandpa who was dieing. but i wasn't that hurt. the bond with my grandparent was very strong till i moved back with my parent when i was 10. our relationship also fade away with time.
when i enter the room i saw all my relative. the one laying on the bed was my grandpa. he was so skinny, not the one i used to see. those cheerful smile and lovely eye weren't there anymore. all my relative was crying cos they have lost a good father. i didn't relise that he passed away until they asked me to hold ah gong hand and tok to him for the last time, asking him not to miss us. those hands was cold and stift. no sign of living anymore. looking at the expressionless face, i feel like crying. he could no longer hug me in his arm like he used to do when i was small. no longer pinch my nose and joke with me anymore.
"ah gong, pls go where you should go. i am big enough to not let you worry. i will not be sad but i will miss you.." that is wat i told him on the bed.
my grandma was in another hosipital becos of stroke. she probably taking her rest alone in the ward with the other patience. would she sense that she had lost her loved one. i don't think so. we are still discussing weather to inform her about this matter. thinking of her condition, that she can't take any bad news at the moment, we decide not to tell her that ah gong passed away. half of my relative arranged for the funeral while the other half pay grandma a visit. we hold back our tears and pretend nothing happen. she was still angry with ah gong cos he havn't pay her a visit for a long time liao. never did she know that ah gong was bravely fighting with the cancer though he lost his battle. thinking that she couldn't see ah gong when he passed away make my eyes red. she can tell that somehing is wrong with me but she doesn't know wat happened. she love me the most in the family cos i am the first grandson of her family. she waved twice with me when we go home. i can tell that she miss me a lot cos it have been so long that i last visited her.
second day of the funeral. ah ma discharged from hositial. uncle brought her to the funeral. she broke down into tears and fall from her wheelchair. she want to go see ah gong in the coffin. she scream and shout asked ah gong not to go. we were all sad that she was trying so hard to mumble words clearly out of her mouth cos of her condition on stroke.
but to me i think ah gong was forunate enough not to suffer too much before her pass away. he had suffer so much for the family and maybe this is the time he take a break. He is resting somewhere. i don't know where. he no longer in this world liao but he is still deeply missed by us.
I've never talked to anyone about my grandparent before, for i am afraid that i wouldnt be able to control my emotions. Now, i am able to talk about her here. Writing really calms me and it allows me to express myself freely without any fears or worries.
Looking back, I've been such an immature and insensitive person. I complain about everything in the world. I complain for having a monotonous life, i complain about not having enough money. Perhaps i should just be contented of what i own now. The truth hurts, but life is really very short. It might be a blessing that your day might be dull, for nothing unfortunate has happened to you or your loved ones.
Life is short, we should really cherish the people and things around us. You never know what would happen to them or yourself tomorrow. Yeah, and don't be afraid to try new things out, for you only live once.
just finished a 1000 pieces of jigsaw puzzle yesterday night. we spent 3hr to finsh it. intinally i thought tat doing jigsaw is a interesting thing to do, but i am kinda freak out now. i don't know when i am going to work on my second piece but definately not so fast cos the feeling of opening up a box with one lump of cardboard totally distorded out make me feel sick.
watched three five movie this week.
My course finally finish liao. now we are clearing leave till 31th... shack leh, don't feel like serving army liao.. but i don't like i have a chance.. two more years to go....
Yeah!! Finally finish painting my room with the help for Lilian. We spent around 8hrs before we can finish. At first my room was so empty that i can hear echo when i play music in my room. The new color is light green, very nice. I even touch up on the ceiling with white paint. Now the whole room is brighten up with life.
Ya. i saw a computer table that suit my room a lot at the coffee shop near my house. It is those metal type and very stable. I wanted it very much. Qing He promise me to carry it up to my house one, but he break his promise. I called Yong Sheng and asked help from him. He agree at first, but later i called him again he rejected me. He told me that taking the table is considered stealing. He won't help me to take it as he is now a police officer. I was very disappointed at first. Lilian then say that she wanna help me to carry it back home. I was shock that she agree to help me carry it back ar. The table was very heavy for a gal to carry. somemore the place still very far away. lastly i have the table back into my house althought it is a tough process. I really feel that Lilian is really a very good friend to me. Never let me down before. Supporting in everything i do.....
Tomorrow i and lilian will be going to Ikea to shop for accessory. Going to buy a table lamp.
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